Jeff Dellinger

Ch-ch-ch-CHANGES (Maybe. I Don't Know Yet...)

2011-09-28T22:15:00.000-07:00

I think we can all agree I do a pretty poor job of keeping my website updated, yes?

Then there's DellingerLosAngeles.com, which is the website I share with Sara. Less ambitious in scope, but still something that requires care and feeding - and I'm falling behind on that, too...

So I got to thinking about the pros and cons of consolidation. And I have to say, right now I'm leaning towards it. Strongly.

Nothing's for sure - I still have to figure out all the various options (Tumblr? WordPress? Stay with Blogger? Maintain status quo?). But it's certainly something that's "on the board"...

More updates as events warrant. Or I at least feel they do.

Yeah...What He Said

2011-09-23T23:45:00.000-07:00

I spent a good portion of Wednesday afternoon sorting through my thoughts on the announcement that R.E.M. was disbanding, trying to pin down exactly what my feelings were. I was saddened by the news, but that was immediately undercut by the realization I hadn't actually bought an R.E.M. CD since maybe "New Adventures In Hi-Fi" (which came out in '96). Aside from a handful of singles that got radio play or happened to pop up on Pandora, I'd moved on years ago...so why was the breakup of a band I no longer paid attention to gnawing at me? Try as I might, I couldn't quite put it into words (much to the chagrin of Sara, who had to listen to me fumbling with it for most of the drive home...).

Turns out, I needn't have bothered. Thursday the A.V. Club staff took turns saying their goodbyes to R.E.M. Midway through the piece, Kyle Ryan put into words almost exactly what I was thinking - only much more succinctly than I would have:

By the time I was getting into non-mainstream music, R.E.M. was well entrenched in the “college rock” scene that would eventually be relabeled “alternative.” This was around Green—probably close to when “Stand” became the theme song for Get A Life—and I didn’t know of a world where R.E.M. wasn’t one of the most important bands for budding music snobs to check out.
...
I look at R.E.M. like The Simpsons, which entered my life right around the same time as the band: only occasionally great in their twilight (I loved Accelerate), but I can’t imagine a world without them.

Even if I wasn't tuning in that often - and even then mostly to the "reruns" - it made for a nicer world having R.E.M. out there. And for that, I can only say "thanks, guys."

DellingerGranik.com is now DellingerLosAngeles.com

2011-09-05T11:05:00.001-07:00

Now that we're back from our (incredible) honeymoon, it's time to start adjusting to married life in the "real world". Step one is complete: the conversion of our engagement website into DellingerLosAngeles.com - your one-stop source for news and (mostly) pictures of me and the Missus.

Needs a little more visual "flair" (gotta figure out something to do with that welcome screen), but it's at least a start. Check it out and let me know what you think...

In Less Than A Week, I Will Be Married

2011-08-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

As the (soon to be) Missus would say: " Holy Shit Balls!"

Two Blog Posts In The Same Calendar Month?!?!

2011-06-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

Amazing, I know. Even if one of them IS just reposting a YouTube video (and the other is this post). This is downright prolific!

The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time

2011-06-03T15:25:00.000-07:00

(h/t The AV Club)

I Am Not As Creative As Katy Perry

2011-05-26T22:11:00.000-07:00

Painful as it is to admit, I know it to be true. Because I know that I, even at my most inspired, could never come up with enough demands and conditions to fill a 45-page concert rider. Not even if I padded it out with extensive legalese.

Thank you, Smoking Gun, for making me feel bad about myself and my (apparently) limited imagination/appreciation for very specific creature comforts.

My Big Debut at the Magic Castle

2011-04-26T09:18:00.000-07:00

As a magician's assistant, I rank somewhere close to - but obviously still below - Buster Bluth. But the trick itself was fantastic...

A Horrible Confession

2011-04-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

There are days that I really miss radio. Specifically, Bloomington radio.

Don't get me wrong; I love what I'm doing now (95% of the time), and know full well that nostalgia filters out most of the everyday petty annoyances that used to drive me nuts back in those days.

But (through the magic of Facebook) I've recently had a chance to catch up with Mark Shaw. Until a few weeks ago, I had literally not spoken to the man in years. It was a treat hearing from him again, and I was reminded just how much fun I used to have playing "Mister Hollywood" every Friday on his show.

I'm sure it'll pass... anytime I think about Bloomington too long, I'm also forced to confront the fact I overstayed my time there. Still, there are worse places to linger too long, and it was a hell of a good time. Me Now would never trade places with Me Then, but it's nice to have that time to look back on.

Ten Things I Fully Intended To Blog About, But Never Got Around To

2011-03-31T09:23:00.000-07:00

In no particular order. Except random numerical order, but that doesn't actually mean anything. Just...nevermind.

10. Charlie Sheen. But then the entire rest of the Internet happened, and I forgot what I was going to say...

9. Wedding planning. Sweet Jesus! Who knew?

8. Expanding on this Tweet.

7. Libya. Then I thought, "Ah, fuck it."

6. WrestleMania. The Rock is back! The Rock is back!

5. The Simon Pegg/Nick Frost "Star Wars" remake. Hilarious. Go watch it. Already seen it? Watch it again.

4. Hero Complex ads appearing in DC Comics. This trips every Nerd Alert my brain can handle. So excited every time I see one.

3. The NCAA Tournament. See #7. Very happy for the Butler Bulldogs, though...

2. The Japan Earthquake/Tsunami/Nuclear Reactor Crisis. But there are only so many ways to say "Holy shit!" and "Donate now!"

1. (Tie) 100 other random things that strike me as odd/funny/interesting in the course of a day, but I forget all about five minutes later. If I can't remember it less than an hour later, it probably doesn't merit the spilling of cyberink. (I know that's what 95% of blogs are about, but I gotta aim at least a little higher. Right?)

So...How's That Whole "Discipline" Thing Working Out For You

2011-03-31T09:14:00.001-07:00

Poorly. But not as poorly as it may seem.

True, I haven't been any more active on the blog since my last post promising change. But I have been writing. Don't want to say too much for fear of jinxing it, but there has been forward progress on a couple of projects for the first time in god-only-knows how long.

Still, I did promise to blog more. And one would be correct to call "bullshit" on that promise so far.

In Which I Am Driven From My Blogging Lethargy By Embarrassment About My Blogging Lethargy

2011-02-27T21:34:00.000-08:00

Hey there. Been a while, huh?

Handful of days ago, I'm debating whether or not I'm going to post Oscar predictions before the show Sunday night. On the one hand, it's something of a tradition. On the other hand, this year looked light on surprises/potential upsets (sure enough, it was). Then I came to a sobering realization...

Since my last Oscar predictions writeup in 2010, I've posted exactly six times to this blog.

Six.

That's ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous.

It's not like there's been a lack of things to post about. Since last year's Oscar's I've been promoted (twice). I began dating, fell in love with, and got engaged to an absolutely wonderful woman. I had my identity stolen (by my former next door neighbor, apparently). I got my first passport - still haven't used it, but at least I've got one now. And on and on and on.

In fact, the lack of posting is in large measure because there's been so much going on in so short a time. At least, I'd like to think that's true. The reality is, though, I've gotten a bit lazy about it.

But all that's about to change.

I'm going to make it a point to start blogging again. Too lazy to write quickly becomes too lazy to work out (believe me) becomes too lazy to do all sorts of things I want/need to do. These next few months especially are going to be busy. I've got shit to do.

It's a question of discipline. It's been sadly lacking...and I need to get it back.

So here I am.

Wish me luck.

"Inception" Mashups Are The New "Watchmen" Mashups

2010-08-03T22:58:00.000-07:00

Remember about 18 months ago when "Watchmen" trailer mashups were all the rage?

Well, apparently the "Inception" trailer has become the new YouTube muse.

Now all that's needed is someone to do an "Inception" mashup with "Watchmen" footage, and the circle will be complete...

Department of Unsolicited Shout-Outs

2010-07-31T16:53:00.001-07:00

Also, my thanks to Dave Trapp for the David Cross audiobook...five of six discs down, it's genuinely hilarious. Thanks!

Thoughts on 'Inception'

2010-07-31T16:51:00.001-07:00

Wow. So Tim Robbins was dead the WHOLE TIME?

(more to come...)

UPDATE: I wanted to wait to talk about "Inception" until I'd seen it a second time. It's a lot to process, and I didn't want to get too deep in the weeds on the various theories out there based on a single run through. I should have known better, of course...it took me too long to see it the first time, waiting for a second pass was just foolish.

Anywho, it will come as no surprise to anyone that I absolutely loved the movie. What's amazed me is the "sticky" factor...how, even weeks after seeing it, I still find myself thinking about it and trying to take it apart.

Since there are literally 6.4 million pages of "Inception" theorie s out there at this point, I won't bore you with mine. (Short version: It's all a dream...but it's hers) But if you ever want to discuss it over a beer or two (or three. Or four.), I'd be happy to.

Meanwhile, I think this one is my favorite. For now, anyway...

Our Long National Nightmare Will Soon Be Over

2010-07-07T09:10:00.000-07:00

LeBron James is set to announce his decision on where he'll be playing next year.

I agree with Mr. Collins...

UPDATE: (7/8/10)

Loved Bill Simmons' take on the LeBron saga (I know, I know...surprise). Couple of key points I thought bear repeating:

13. I think it's a cop-out. Any super-competitive person would rather beat Dwyane Wade than play with him. Don't you want to find the Ali to your Frazier and have that rival pull the greatness out of you? That's why I'm holding out hope that LeBron signs with New York or Chicago (or stays in Cleveland), because he'd be saying, "Fine. Kobe, Dwight and Melo all have their teams. Wade and Bosh have their team. The Celtics are still there. Durant's team is coming. I'm gonna go out and build MY team, and I'm kicking all their asses." That's what Jordan would have done. Hell, that's what Kobe would have done.

In May, after the Cavs were ousted in the conference semifinals, I wrote that LeBron was facing one of the greatest sports decisions ever: "winning (Chicago), loyalty (Cleveland) or a chance at immortality (New York)."

I never thought he would pick "HELP!"

15. What should LeBron do? Pick Chicago. That's where the rings are. The fact that he didn't say to Bosh, "Come to Chicago with me, we'll play with Rose and Noah and win six titles together" was the single most disappointing outcome of the summer. That team would have been a true juggernaut with pieces that actually complemented each other, unlike this pickup-basketball situation that's brewing in Miami. Even with Boozer there in Bosh's place -- and I think he's a great fit for them, with or without LeBron -- it could still translate to multiple titles, because Rose could have been the best second banana since Kobe in 2001.

Just know that Kobe would have caught a whiff of those rings and gone to Chicago. Same with Jordan. Same with Magic and Bird. Chicago had the biggest competitive advantage of anyone: room for two max guys along with an under-23 franchise point guard and one of the only elite defending/rebounding big men in basketball. How can you care about winning and NOT go to Chicago?

20. [...]If LeBron picks anyone other than the Cavaliers, it will be the cruelest television moment since David Chase ended "The Sopranos" by making everyone think they lost power. Cleveland fans will never forgive LeBron, nor should they. He knows better than anyone what kind of sports anguish they have suffered over the years. Losing LeBron on a contrived one-hour show would be worse than Byner's fumble, Jose Mesa, the Game 5 meltdown against Boston, The Drive, The Shot and everything else. At least those stomach-punch moments weren't preordained, unless you believe God hates Cleveland (entirely possible, by the way). This stomach-punch moment? Calculated. By a local kid they loved, defended and revered.

It would be unforgivable. Repeat: unforgivable. I don't have a dog in this race -- as a Celtics fan, I wanted to see him go anywhere but Chicago -- but LeBron doing this show after what happened in the 2010 playoffs actually turned me against him. No small feat. I was one of his biggest defenders. Not anymore.

Guess we'll all find out in a few hours.

Never Would Have Guessed

2010-06-29T18:38:00.001-07:00

After all this time, the thing that prompts my return to blogging is Larry King's retirement announcement? Yes, yes it is...

You see, in a way, Larry King got me my first job in radio.

Back in the mid-90's, I was working part time as a producer at WGCL in Bloomington. I had graduated about 8 months earlier, and was still trying to find a full-time position somewhere (admittedly, I wasn't trying too hard...the quasi-slacker/barfly life was fun and I was in no hurry to give it up).

This was back when a) Larry King still had his USA Today "column" - which was generally a random assortment of stray thoughts and name checks of past-their-prime stars - and b) he had not turned into an easy punchline for seemingly every comedian on the planet.

One particularly slow afternoon, I took that week's King column and did a parody version of it. Nothing too brilliant, but funny enough that I posted it on the bulletin board in the newsroom. This hung right above the wire service computer, and at some point a few days later the station GM saw it, loved it, and decided I was brilliant and should be working there full-time.

(Why my 18+ months of exemplary work up to that point hadn't already demonstrated that, I'll never know. But, really, who cares? I eventually got hired...that's all that really counts.)

Shortly thereafter I started working full-time as a copywriter/commercial producer. Within a few months, I was Creative Services Director - a much cooler title than the actual job, I assure you. And the rest, as they say...

Larry's long since "given up" his regular newspaper column. And his syndicated radio show. And now, with the announcement that he's wrapping his CNN show in the fall, it seems his glory days are officially behind him. But he was once big enough, and easy-to-parody-without-being-a-hack enough, for his coattails to (indirectly) carry me to a career.

For that I say, "Thanks, Larry."

Galactic Empire State Of Mind

2010-04-07T21:51:00.000-07:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

2010 Oscar Picks

2010-03-06T10:38:00.000-08:00

Keep in mind, these are my picks of who I think will win, which is not necessarily who I think should win. I factor in the quality of the picture and what I know/suspect about the campaign politics when making these selections.

Also, I'll stipulate up front I have no idea about most of the "flyover" categories. You may as well throw darts at a board for as much as I know about the documentary/short film/foreign film nominees this year.

Without further ado:

Best Picture: THE HURT LOCKER (11th hour darkhorse: INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS)
Actor In A Leading Role: Jeff Bridges - CRAZY HEART*
Actress In A Leading Role: Meryl Streep - JULIE AND JULIA
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow, THE HURT LOCKER
Actor In A Supporting Role: Christoph Waltz - INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
Actress In A Supporting Role: Mo'nique - PRECIOUS
Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino - INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
Best Adapted Screenplay: Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner - UP IN THE AIR
Best Art Direction: THE YOUNG VICTORIA
Best Cinematography: THE HURT LOCKER
Best Foreign Film: THE WHITE RIBBON
Best Original Score: THE HURT LOCKER
Best Animated Film: UP
Best Costume Design: THE YOUNG VICTORIA
Best Visual Effects: AVATAR
Best Original Song: The Weary Kind - CRAZY HEART
Best Film Editing: THE HURT LOCKER
Best Make-up: YOUNG VICTORIA
Best Sound Editing: AVATAR
Best Sound Mixing: AVATAR
Best Documentary Feature: FOOD INC.
Best Documentary (Short Subject): THE LAST TRUCK: CLOSING OF A GM PLANT
Best Short Film (Animated): A Matter of Loaf or Death
Best Short Film (Live Action): Kavi

* I know Bridges is the easy money pick here, based on him basically sweeping all the precursor awards. But if there's to be an out-of-left-field upset this year, it almost has to happen in this category. Specifically, I'm thinking Bridges: Mickey Rourke :: Clooney: Sean Penn.

Not saying it will happen...but something in the back of my head tells me it might.

Oscar Picks Coming Soon

2010-03-04T23:32:00.000-08:00

...I promise.

In the meantime, there's this from the AV Club: "Sarah Palin Is Basically Snooki". Hilarious and almost frighteningly spot-on.

Evan Bayh To Retire

2010-02-15T19:55:00.000-08:00

Best write-up comes from Gawker:

Democratic deficit hawk who never met a tax cut or agricultural subsidy he didn't love Evan Bayh is retiring from the Senate. Because of partisanship! Oh, partisanship. God bless you.

I'm embarrassed to admit I once thought this guy could be a solid Presidential candidate. But that was before he fully transitioned from mere Conserva-Dem to the poor man's Joe Lieberman.

My guess: after being passed over (barely) as Obama's VP pick, he saw the writing on the wall. He's been a climber since he started his career, and probably didn't like knowing he'd officially hit his ceiling.

Again, from Gawker:

Naturally, as one of the primary causes of Senate inaction, Bayh is just plain tired of the Senate not being able to get anything done.
(...)
We'll miss you, Evan! The Senate just won't be the same without you, except that we do still have both Nelsons, Blanche Lincoln, Joe Lieberman, etc. etc..

Anyway now we are pretty sure the Republicans will retake the Senate, so, sorry if you didn't want the nation to not literally grind to a complete standstill for six years or so.

I Are Famous Now

2010-01-26T13:25:00.000-08:00

See?

What? You've never heard of the Nic Cage As Everyone blog? What's wrong with you?

R.I.P. Robert B. Parker

2010-01-19T09:29:00.000-08:00

From the Washington Post:

Robert B. Parker, 77, the highly productive and successful author who wrote the Spenser private detective novels, died yesterday, at home in Cambridge, Mass., according to his U.S. publisher, Putnam.

He was still at work, and preliminary reports indicated that he died at his desk.

I absolutely loved the Spenser novels, and Parker's work was a big part of my formative years. I was lucky enough to get to interview him when I was doing "The Morning Line" back in 2002-03. Much as I'd like to remember it being a very professional, insightful bit of interviewing, I'm pretty sure it was more like my version of "The Chris Farley Show" (I'll have to dig out the tape...).

Needless to say, I'm terribly bummed by this news. But at least he left a large body of quality work behind for us to enjoy.

Hilarity Ensues

2010-01-07T21:05:00.001-08:00

Nic Cage As Everyone.

UPDATE (1/8/10): Yes, I've started doing these myself...

BREAKING: Brett Favre A Me-First Douchebag, Contender-Killer

2009-12-23T22:07:00.000-08:00

Surprise, surprise, surprise...

Childress has a reputation for limiting the number of audibles he allows his quarterbacks to call at the line of scrimmage. Favre apparently believes his knowledge of the offensive system and 19 years of NFL experience qualify him to make changes based on his extensive film study of opponents.
Although the two have discussed their recent disagreement -- which became public when Favre resisted Childress' attempts to pull him from Sunday night's loss in Carolina -- it is unclear whether they have resolved the fundamental issue: Are Childress and his coaching staff going to control the game from the sideline, or will Favre be permitted the autonomy he feels is necessary to control it at the line of scrimmage?

I've been saying it all year, even when no one would listen. Favre is, at his core, the kind of selfish, overly-cocky gunslinger who will kill your team late in the year. It was never a matter of "if"...just a question of "when".

Happy Holidays! (Save A Tree)

2009-12-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

All the best to you and your loved ones this holiday season!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

The 70 Minute Phantom Menace Review

2009-12-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

Lot of dead time around the holidays. So, if you haven't seen it yet, why not catch up with this hilarious skewering of "The Phantom Menace". Granted, slapping around a widely-reviled movie that's now a decade old might seem like a waste of 70 minutes...but watch the first ten minutes and I virtually guarantee you'll wind up watching the rest.

Part One.

Part Two.

Part Three.

Part Four.

Part Five.

Part Six.

Part Seven.

Hey Now!

2009-12-17T23:13:00.000-08:00

Just found out "The Larry Sanders Show" is available on Hulu. Not every episode, but a good number of them. Certainly enough to keep me busy for a while...

Classy

2009-12-16T13:53:00.000-08:00

Courtney Love rips on her daughter on Facebook.

You Know What Sucks About Our System?

2009-12-09T11:14:00.000-08:00

That Senators from sparsely-populated states like Montana and Nebraska get to dictate terms of major national policy initiatives.

Health Care Reform "Compromise"

2009-12-09T11:06:00.000-08:00

Haven't quite decided if this latest Senate compromise falls under the "half a loaf is better than none" heading, or the "Harry Reid demonstrates once again he could fuck up a free lunch/Democrats don't know how to play with a lead" banner.

Guess a lot will depend on how it scores with the CBO.

Something, Something, Something Dark Side

2009-12-01T14:34:00.000-08:00

Deleted Scenes

2009-12-01T09:36:00.001-08:00

I'll have to check this out when I have more time...

In A Related Story, (At Least) 52% of Republicans Are Blithering Idiots

2009-11-19T12:10:00.000-08:00

To wit:

The new national poll from Public Policy Polling (D) has an astonishing number about paranoia among the GOP base: Republicans do not think President Obama actually won the 2008 election -- instead, ACORN stole it.

[...]

Among Republicans, however, only 27% say Obama actually won the race, with 52% -- an outright majority -- saying that ACORN stole it, and 21% are undecided. Among McCain voters, the breakdown is 31%-49%-20%. By comparison, independents weigh in at 72%-18%-10%, and Democrats are 86%-9%-4%.

(Different) Same Song, Second Verse

2009-11-19T12:03:00.001-08:00

Once again, the words don't match the pictures...

Fox News says a "production error" caused it to air 2008 campaign rally footage yesterday during a segment on the crowds greeting Sarah Palin on her book tour. And today the network apologized for mistakenly showing the cover of the Going Rouge, a collection of essays mocking the former governor, rather than the cover of her book, Going Rogue.

For those keeping track, that's the second such "accident" in two weeks. Apparently, FOX News producers and tape-cutters are really, really bad at their jobs.

Same Song, Second Verse

2009-11-17T21:37:00.000-08:00

Got back to the Universal City Red Line stop tonight to find my car had been broken into. Again.

This time they apparently rifled through my glove compartment and center console. There was a bunch of stuff strewn around the passenger seat, but nothing seems to be missing. Apparently they didn't think there was much pawn shop/street value in an old iPod charger, window ice scraper, and handful of mix CDs.

Kudos to the North Hollywood PD, who took the report over the phone and essentially said, "That sucks for you, but what do you want us to do about it?" I realize there's nothing they can do, but it's a deeply unsatisfying realization, let me tell you...

FAUX News Strikes Again

2009-11-11T09:47:00.000-08:00

Busted! Jon Stewart catches FOX recycling footage from a different Washington protest to make the latest Tea Bagger rally look bigger.

Priceless...

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

Yahoo! Answers' Greatest Hits

2009-11-10T16:26:00.001-08:00

This is just gold.

Hilarious

2009-11-02T12:11:00.000-08:00

Joss Whedon makes "bid" for rights to "Terminator" franchise.

It's an open letter on Nikki Finke's site, and it's hilarious.

Downright Creepy

2009-10-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

Bill Simmons, in his NBA Preview column posted last Friday:

Of the past 15 years of blue-chippers, only Duncan and Kobe were given this luxury. Griffin is the luckiest blue-chipper since them: not only does he play for a potential playoff team, but he doesn't have to fight with someone for minutes or carry the scoring load. He just has to worry about running the floor, rebounding and finishing. A cushy situation, to say the least. For once, it appears as if becoming a Clipper was the BEST thing that could have happened to someone.
(Note: Please don't e-mail this paragraph to me in three weeks if Blake is rolling around on the floor holding his right ankle. Thank you.)

Smash-cut to today, and ESPN reports:

Blake Griffin's NBA debut has been pushed back indefinitely after the Los Angeles Clippers revealed late Monday night that their No. 1 overall draft pick has a broken left kneecap.
...Griffin apparently broke his kneecap during the Clippers' final exhibition game against New Orleans last Friday, perhaps after a dunk that left the power forward wincing in pain. The team initially said Griffin only had a sore left knee, making him questionable for the opener, before revealing the break.

Left knee instead of right ankle. A few hours instead of a few weeks. But still, eerily spot-on.

NFL to Limbaugh: "Uh...no."

2009-10-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

Look on the bright side, Rush. Now you'll have more money to go doctor shopping...

Funny Stuff

2009-10-08T16:49:00.001-07:00

Top 10 Changes Rush Limbaugh Would Make As Owner Of The St. Louis Rams.

R.I.P. Patrick Swayze

2009-09-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

Deep Truths from The Sports Guy

2009-09-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

ESPN's Bill Simmons:

The truth is, you have your oldest friends in life, and then you have everyone else. Nothing will trump your oldest friends. Any amount of time can pass without your feeling as if you've grown apart because, really, you can't. It's like a plant. You just have to water it every so often and you're good.

On the eve of 35

2009-09-01T21:58:00.000-07:00

I'm a couple days out from my 35th birthday. Normally, I don't look at birthdays as a particularly worthy excuse to get all contemplative and navel-gaze-y. But I can't shake the notion that I'm overdue for a course correction of some kind.

I have no idea what that means, either. But if and when I figure it out, I'll let you know...

Why On Earth Is This Legal?

2009-08-17T13:16:00.001-07:00

In Arizona or ANYWHERE?

A man was seen carrying an assault rifle and a pistol outside the VFW Convention in Phoenix where President Obama spoke today, a local newspaper reports.

Local police said it's legal under Arizona law, but two officers kept close by him.

"If we need to intervene, we will intervene at that time," said Detective J. Oliver.

The man, who gave his name only as "Chris", was asked why he was armed. "Because I can do it," he said. "In Arizona, I still have some freedoms."

I don't have a problem with people who own guns, either for hunting or home protection. I have a big problem with any jurisdiction that allows a private citizen to carry a fucking AR-15 at or near a Presidential event...especially if the only reason for doing it is "because I can...."

This is just lunacy. And I fear it will only get worse...

If This Is True, Obama's A One-Termer

2009-08-16T13:28:00.001-07:00

AP: "White House Appears Ready To Drop Public Option In Healthcare Overhaul"

Bowing to Republican pressure, President Barack Obama's administration signaled today it is ready to abandon the idea of giving Americans the option of government-run insurance as part of a new health care system.

Um...what's the point of dominant (although, apparently, doomed-to-be-shortlived) majorities in both houses again?

The GOP is not here to play nice. Compromise won't earn you any points with them...it will send the signal that their winged monkey brigades work. They will get more obnoxious, not less, until they literally hound Obama from office in 2012.

I can't believe Obama's team is this bad playing with a lead. It's like they've got Wade Phillips running their political shop...

Farewell to John Hughes

2009-08-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

Dead at age 59. Along with a big chunk of my formative years...

This guy was THE definitive 80's movie director. Look at his IMDB page - his run from 1983-1990 is just classic piled on top of classic on top of classic.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Ferris Bueller

UPDATE: Hughes put seven movies on our Top 100 Most Iconic 80s Movie list.

Uh-oh...

2009-08-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

So I just pulled a copy of my official birth certificate, and apparently I cannot ever be legitimately elected President of the United States.

However, it's almost a lock I will eventually become a Sith Lord...

(click image to see larger version)

You can get your own "official" Kenyan birth certificate HERE.

Adventures In Cognitive Dissonance

2009-08-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

Interesting phenomenon: Senior citizen s make up a large share of protesters opposing government health care.

This one's a favorite:

President Obama at a town hall meeting last week described a letter he received from a Medicare recipient:

"I got a letter the other day from a woman. She said, 'I don't want government-run health care. I don't want socialized medicine. And don't touch my Medicare.'"

Brilliant.

Notes from the Anti-nap

2009-08-03T05:12:00.001-07:00

Woke up at 4am from dream I was back living in Bloomington. Dream was nice. Not crazy about fact I'm still awake, though.

(NOTE: Updated during normal waking hours to correct bleary-eyed spelling and punctuation errors.)

Oh, Sweet Irony

2009-07-30T09:12:00.001-07:00

Rove: Obama using fear to sell policy.

I guess if anyone would recognize the technique, it'd be him...

Poster Mashups - Round 1

2009-07-28T22:13:00.000-07:00

Just as fun as the trailer mashups, but much less labor-intensive. Quality varies, but these all made me laugh...

(Click image for larger version)

Concept borrowed from b3a.com

FOX Rogues (Part II)

2009-07-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

Following up on yesterday's post, here's today's entry in the FOX Rogue's Gallery...

"ICE to meet you, Ann Coulter..."

FOX Rogues

2009-07-23T09:18:00.001-07:00

In honor or Comic-Con, I'm relighting the fire under my previously announced Photoshop project wherein I will turn FOX News personalities (and other members of the Wingnut Commentariat) into Batman villains.

Let's start with the obvious...

Coming soon: Sean Hannity as Two-Face! Ann Coulter as Mister Freeze! Rush Limbaugh as The Penguin (of course)! George Will as The Scarecrow! And more...!

The Best of All Possible Worlds

2009-07-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

Awesome. Count me in...

If the budget deal crafted by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and top legislative leaders is passed by the Legislature and survives the inevitable court challenges, California will undergo perhaps the biggest downscaling of government in its history.

The state will be reshaped, at least for the short term, into a domain that is more efficient by necessity, but also noticeably shabbier, less generous and possibly more dangerous.

The irony is, for all the caterwauling the Republicans do about immigration turning California into a Third World country they don't seem to mind their slavish ideological aversion to taxes doing the same thing much more quickly.

More on this later...

Just Watch It

2009-07-10T10:24:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, Senator Franken

2009-07-07T11:02:00.000-07:00

Our long national nightmare is finally over, as Minnesota's new junior Senator has been officially sworn in.

The First Hint There's A Lot Of Crazy Going Down

2009-07-07T07:52:00.001-07:00

Got to the train station ten minutes early & still had to park in overflow lot. That means a lot of people up early to take the train downtown. MJ memorial nonsense going to be out of control.

Three Days Later, Still Awesome...

2009-07-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

Part One is the stumbling, incoherent preamble. Part Two is the money shot. But watch the whole thing...it's comedy gold.

Day's Off To A Great Start...

2009-06-30T08:25:00.001-07:00

Someone broke into my car last night. Smashed passenger window. but no other damage I can see. Didn't get much - grabbed a laptop bag that (fortunately) didn't have a laptop in it. They did get my iPod & a couple flash drives.

Now I get to spend the morning chasing down an autobody place that can replace the window right away. Good times!

UPDATE (12:45pm): The break-in is now only the SECOND worst part of my day, thanks to a sudden and mysterious brake failure on the 101. Luckily, it was midday (light traffic) and no damage was done to anything or anyone.

Really hope that's the last update to this post...

What a crazy f**kin' day...

2009-06-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

Farrah Fawcett dies...then Michael Jackson. Just nuts. I'm glad I don't work on the editorial side of things right now. Those guys are in for a looooooong night.

I actually feel bad for Farrah. She didn't even get a full day's news cycle as the top story before she was "upstaged" by Jackson's sudden death. As for Jackson, I dunno. Obviously, I feel for his family and loved ones, but the last - what? decade? maybe two? - of his life really undercut any positive feelings I had for him or his music. It's newsworthy, but not exactly "moving".

That said, I feel like this next few days will hit Princess Di levels of circus-like coverage and public wailing/gnashing of teeth. The crazies will be coming out of the woodwork.

Yep. That Just About Sums It Up...

2009-06-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Crisis in Iran

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Jason Jones in Iran

Dear Every National Media Outlet:

2009-06-23T10:10:00.001-07:00

I do not give two shits about Jon and Kate Gosselin, their marriage, their divorce or their reality show. Please stop cramming these nobodies in my face.

Thank you.

Regards,

Jeff Dellinger

Elvis Costello at Amoeba Music

2009-06-22T20:06:00.001-07:00

Very cool setup at Amoeba. Reminds me of the TTS private concerts at the Rathskellar...but. y'know, w/ more Elvis Costello.

David Letterman Has Nothing To Apologize For

2009-06-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

This whole fucking thing is ridiculous. But, with Sarah Palin involved, how could it not be?

I'm so, sooooooo tired up this particular mix of willful failure to understand what was said, ginned-up self-serving "outrage", the cheap theatrics of "defending" a family member against a non-existent "attack" while simultaneously implying that your "attacker" is some kind of sub-human pervert.

Enough is fucking enough. Why is anyone still paying attention to this woman...much less giving her a sympathetic platform from which to vomit more stupidity into the political consciousness?

UPDATE (6/15): Letterman folds, offers apology. Bad idea, Dave. I respect the attempt at being classy, but caving to these jackholes is just wrongheaded.

2009-06-07T03:47:00.001-07:00

Perfect. This of all weekends is the one where some joker pulls the building's fire alarm at 3:30 in the morning...

2009-05-29T06:35:00.001-07:00

Add to Crimes Against Humanity list: people in 'expert' line at airport who have clearly never flown before and/or are f*cking morons.

2009-05-25T19:29:00.001-07:00

Majorly disappointed y the Flair segment - bt Hornswaggle/Golddust tag match should make up for it.

2009-05-25T18:56:00.001-07:00

Excited to see Ric Flair - even if he did campaign for Mike Huckabee.

2009-05-22T19:21:00.001-07:00

How come nobody warned me it's douche-y hat night at the Arclight?

2009-05-20T18:41:00.001-07:00

Everyone else is on their iPhones/text device. Don't want to be odd man out.

2009-05-19T12:24:00.001-07:00

The next person who makes the elevator stop at three so they can ride down to two is getting pnched in the junk...

Is This Thing On?

2009-05-17T21:16:00.001-07:00

Finally signed up for ability to update blog from mobile device. Just checking to see if it works.

Update: Yep. It works.

Know When To Walk Away, Know When To Run

2009-05-17T18:46:00.001-07:00

The "finale" of Scrubs ranks among the best farewell episodes of any show I can remember...or at least it did, until I found out the show will be coming bac k for a ninth season.

I must say, this news does not make me happy.

Don't get me wrong. Scrubs is an absolute favorite, and I'm glad it got the pickup from ABC after NBC cut it loose last year. However, with heart of the show Zach Braff leaving (and talk that they may abandon the single-camera format and turn it into a conventional sitcom), I'm not sure there's much upside to the show going on. I'm worried that post-Braff Scrubs will be like post-Andre Braugher Homicide: not bad, necessarily, but inevitably disappointing. A shadow of its former self.

The sad part is, that last episode was a perfect capstone for the show. Very few programs - even the great ones - get to go out on that kind of high note.

I remember watching Michael Jordan's last game with the Bulls, nailing the big shot in the last seconds to clinch a championship. I didn't want to see him go, but felt like if it had to happen, that was the way. One last great memory before heading off into the sunset.

Then he came back and played a couple unremarkable seasons with the Washington Wizards. Didn't diminish what came before, but when he finally did retire for good, there was an unpleasant aftertaste to the whole thing. My fear is that's the same way I'll feel about a ninth season of Scrubs.

Roger Ebert has lost it

2009-05-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

Bad enough he's been handing out three and four-star reviews like they were complimentary matchbooks for the past nine months or so... but who in their right mind thinks that "Fighting" (three inexplicable stars) was better than either "Wolverine" (two stars /!?) or "Star Trek" (2.5 ?!?).

I respect the man tremendously, but his grading scale is horribly out of whack lately...

"You Like-a De JUICE...?"

2009-05-07T09:52:00.001-07:00

Manny being cheat-y.

Holy Crap

2009-04-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

Arlen Specter jumped ship. Dems will have a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate.

2009 NFL Schedule Is Out

2009-04-14T16:58:00.000-07:00

Bears open the season on Sunday night against the Packers, at Lambeau.

I say they go 3-1 into the bye week, and finish the year at 10-6. 5-1 in the Division (Vikings beat them at home).

And, not for nothing, but the Thanksgiving Day games are crap - Packers at Lions, Raiders (?!?) at Cowboys, and Giants at Broncos. Why Oakland gets a high-profile national showcase is beyond me...

Bears Money FLOODING Into Vegas

2009-04-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

Bears just traded for Jay Cutler. Literally, it JUST HAPPENED.

As luck would have it, I'm in Vegas. This morning, the line on the Bears to win the Super Bowl was 25/1. By the time I got to the sports book to place a bet following the Cutler news (a matter of minutes), it was 10/1.

For the record, I'm excited...but the Bears gave up WAY too much.

Fucking Brilliant

2009-03-20T13:23:00.001-07:00

Watchmen/Wall-E trailer mashup:

Top 100 Most Iconic 90's Movies

2009-03-15T16:37:00.001-07:00

The list is here.

In Which Jim Cramer Gets Pwned By A Comedian

2009-03-13T10:07:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most lopsided ass kickings I've ever seen. It's like an old school "60 Minutes" takedown with a live studio audience.

Tell me again why some of the best researched, most intelligent news gathering and analysis on TV is done by Comedy Central?

Haiku Review(s): WATCHMEN

2009-03-06T17:17:00.000-08:00

Adaptation stays
(too?) true to source. Fanboy
bliss; non-fans may shrug.

Film looks fantastic.
Characters well realized.
I liked it a lot.

New Two-Minute Offense Coming This Weekend

2009-03-05T23:27:00.000-08:00

I promise.

The Top 100 Most Iconic 80's Movies

2009-03-05T23:18:00.001-08:00

This list was born of a lunchtime discussion with some co-workers. We were trying to determine what the 100 "top" 80's movies were.

Not the highest grossing. Not the "best" (as defined by critical acclaim, Oscar wins, etc). But what movies, when you think of the 80's, spring to mind first? What movies are you surprised to hear that someone hasn't seen?

We put a list together of about 180 titles, then tried to whittle it down. A lot of great stuff was left off...either because they didn't "feel" 80s enough (a common problem for period pieces like The Natural, The Untouchables and Hoosiers), or because there were too many to list individually so we had to go with one or two "best of breed" selections (Indiana Jones movies, Ahnuld action titles, etc).

Thanks to Daria Linvill and Randy Bick for their work in putting this together with me. Look forward to hearing what you think...

UPDATE: The list of inexcusable omissions includes "Do The Right Thing", "Raising Arizona" and (because Daria insists) "Beaches". The movies I listed on my home page we thought of and rejected after careful consideration. These we just somehow forgot. Like I said, inexcusable.

Twittering the Oscars

2009-02-22T21:01:00.000-08:00

While I was blogging like a sucker, some more forward thinking types were Twittering the Oscars. Just logged on...not going to backtrack, but here are some great posts from the end of the show:

RE: Sean Penn's speech

Twitterkins Did he mean ELOQUENT? Or did he really mean "elegant?" Like Obama's The Scarlet Pimpernel?

mattfraction thank god mickey rourke's dog is dead so she didn't have to witness this travesty

mattfraction and please welcome Adrian Brody as Serpico as Adrian Brody

Twitterkins RT @Apey: I wish the Oscar band had a guy in overalls blowing on a jug.

Oscar Blogging

2009-02-22T18:11:00.000-08:00

(Updating throughout the show)

Somehow, I managed to forget to post my picks this year. Possibly because so many of tonight's awards are foregone conclusions. Oh, well. Not like anyone's keeping track anyway.

Hugh Jackman really impressed me with the opening number. I hate musical numbers, and had the long knives at the ready in case the show opening was another Rob Lowe-Snow White style fiasco. And there were a few rough moments early. But damn if he didn't pull it off. Not sure there's anyone else who could have... (Update: Naturally, Nikki Finke shit all over the opening. Never thought I'd be defending a musical number, but I think she's overdoing it here...)

Don't like the big clusters of former winners doing the awards. Really awkward...

Steve Martin and Tina Fey killed. Why do people remember him as a "bad" host?

Loved Jack Black's line about how to make money in animation: do a voiceover for Dreamworks, take the paycheck and bet it all on Pixar to win the Oscar. Too bad they wimped out and had co-presenter Jennifer Aniston "apologize" for the joke.

Wow...the Pattinson/Seyfried pairing was just nothing but sparks, huh?

Ben Stiller's Joaquin Phoenix bit is pretty funny. A week later, probably not so much. Timing really is everything.

Aaaaaaaand, I spoke too soon. They went for a second musical number, and I can actually hear the show grinding to a halt all the way up here in Sherman Oaks. Shoulda quit while you were ahead, Jackman.

Pretty eclectic group to present the Best Supporting Actor award. Would you go see a movie - comedy, obviously - headlined by Walken, Kline and Arkin? I would.

Very nice moment with Heath Ledger's family accepting his Oscar for him. Am I crazy, or when his dad stopped and his mom started, did it sound like they got one or two notes into playing her off before someone thought better of it?

Smart thinking to have one person present all four of the sound and FX awards...especially since that person was Will Smith. Show seems to be moving pretty quickly again. (Making the second musical number stand out all the more as wholly unnecessary)

Did I miss the "In Memoriam" segment? Or has it just not run yet?

Nikki Finke's word count ratio of catty eye-rolling to neutral-or-positive comments is around 2000-to-1 right now.

Nope...didn't miss it. "In Memoriam" just ran. Didn't like Queen Latifah singing over the montage. Totally unnecessary "new wrinkle"...it works much better as a simple tribute than as a production number.

Not much applause when Charleton Heston came up in the montage. Cue the right wing blogosphere pointing to this "horrible slight" as evidence that Hollywood is biased against conservatives, yada yada yada... (UPDATE: And it begins. Literally seconds after the montage ended.)

Danny Boyle just won Best Director. Interesting decision to separate director from Best Picture (they usually run adjacent at the end of the show). I would say it kills any suspense about the big prize, but there wasn't a lot of that this year anyway.

I thought I saw Vampirella in the "In Memoriam" montage. But here she is, talking about Meryl Streep, and ...what? That's Sophia Loren? Yikes.

As an old-school "Homicide" fan, I wish Melissa Leo had even a small shot at Best Actress this year. But, of course, it's Kate Winslet.

Wow...it's just past three hours right now, and we're down to the last two awards. Even with the needless musical stopdowns, they're really hauling ass this year.

Holy SHIT, they gave it to Sean Penn. I just lost a ton of money shorting him on Hollywood Stock Exchange. I was virtually certain that it was going to Mickey Rourke (who must feel like Bret Hart in Montreal right now). Penn's speech is great, though. Nice mix of self-effacing, genuine, and political.

And, as predicted, it's "Slumdog" for Best Picture. Certainly a worthy winner. Glad to see it close the deal.

Overall run time just under 3:30. Not bad...

California: The Dumbest State In The Union

2009-02-18T22:42:00.000-08:00

Set against the backdrop of a serious, prolonged, nation-wide economic crisis, we have the ongoing clown show that is the California Budget.

See, California (which, as a state, has the seventh or eighth biggest economy in the world) requires a 2/3 super majority to pass a budget or any tax increases. It's also home to a very reactionary bunch of Republicans - apparently, being vastly outnumbered in most parts of the state means the little GOPper enclaves become a breeding ground for wingnuttery - who see tax increases of any kind as the single greatest evil imaginable.

First, they failed to pass a budget until it was several months late. By the time they did pass it, the projections on which it was based were obsolete and the state found itself in a $45 BILLION dollar hole. So, almost immediately, they had to go back and start re-negotiating.

So, here we are with a $45B shortfall, credit agencies reducing our bond rating to "junk" status, the imminent prospect of having to lay off 20,000 state employees and California literally running out of money to pay its expenses. After months of negotiations, they finally come up with a compromise. All they need is three Republican votes in each chamber to pass...

And they can't get them.

The Republicans, given the choice between "raise taxes" and "watch the entire state go down in flames" have chosen the latter. They even dumped their Senate caucus leader for allowing tax increases to be part of the compromise package, and replaced him with someone more rabidly, pathologically insane.

And what of the ostensible leader of the state GOP, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger? No one listens to him, especially other Republicans. They look at him as a joke...and it's not hard to see why.

Honestly...even if he's only on set for a day, he's got nothing better to do right now than cameos in Stallone movies? But it's our own fault...we did manage to elect him. Twice.

It's absolute madness. These cretins should be ashamed of themselves (although I'm guessing "shame" is outside their emotional vocabulary).

UPDATE: Less than 12 hours after I posted this, Republican Senator Abe Maldonado agreed to be the final vote needed (after wringing a bunch of concessions on unrelated pet legislation out of Ah-nuld and the Dems) and the new budget was passed.

Had I known it was that easy, i'd have blogged about this weeks ago (har har).

"Spinal Tap" Turns 25

2009-02-16T15:06:00.001-08:00

Fun new interview with the band up at Vanity Fair.

Use It Or Lose It, I Guess...

2009-02-16T09:21:00.000-08:00

First "Two Minute Offense" video podcast is up.

I'm so rusty when it comes to speaking extemporaneously, it's not even funny. I shot 17 minutes of video (!) just to Frankenstein the middling 128 seconds for the final edit.

Need to get used to broadcast-quality unscripted blathering again...

Good Riddance

2009-02-11T13:07:00.000-08:00

Favre retires. Again.

Hopefully this time it sticks. I am indescribably tired of this guy.

UPDATE:

This is a DVD I would buy if it actually existed...

News Stories That Just Bug Me

2009-02-11T09:07:00.000-08:00

All news stories fall into basically two categories: things that actually matter, and pointless distractions. The former category is the good-for-you-but-most-people-hate stuff like politics (policy-related), science, business and economic news, etc.

The latter category is, naturally, what most people - including me - are drawn to. This includes broad categories like sports, politics (personality/horserace- related), entertainment and pop culture, and the billions of "human interest" fluff pieces that move across the wires every day.

Generally, while I spend a good deal of time on the pointless distractions, I make it a rule to only get genuinely passionate about stories that really matter. But sometimes a story in the "pointless" category just gnaws at me, and gets me legitimately fired up.

The woman with the octuplets is one of those stories.

I know this is not my problem (yet). I know there are literally millions of irresponsible people out there who become parents and shouldn't. Some of them even get on TV (usually Springer/Maury Povich/etc) or reach the level of semi-celebrity that Nadya Suleman has attained. I don't get righteously indignant about any of them.

But something about this particular woman, this particular story, just drives me nuts.

All of which is a long way of letting you know that later this week I'll be debuting my new video blog, "The Two Minute Offense". And the Nadya Suleman story will be my first topic. To answer the two most obvious questions: Yes, I know she shouldn't be; I should pick something more important, more worth thinking about. And, no, I really can't help myself.

You've been warned.

EXACTLY

2009-02-06T10:01:00.000-08:00

John Cole:

I really don’t understand how bipartisanship is ever going to work when one of the parties is insane.

Would it be nice to have some GOP votes here (if for no other reason than to indicate they're not all lemming-like dead-enders?)? Sure. But bipartisanship is a means, not an end unto itself. And you can't "negotiate" with someone who makes it abudantly clear going in that they have zero intention of bargaining in good faith.

When that happens, fuck 'em. Roll right over them. That's why the voters gave you such big majorities in both houses of Congress to begin with.

The Keene Act & YOU

2009-02-05T09:55:00.000-08:00

All Over, Save The Wailing And Gnashing Of Teeth

2009-02-01T23:25:00.000-08:00

Not really anything more to add.

Fun With Obamicons

2009-01-29T09:15:00.001-08:00

Update:

Oscar Nominations - First Reactions

2009-01-22T09:57:00.000-08:00

Here's the complete list of nominees.

Lots of surprises here -- mostly unpleasant ones. I'm still digesting, but here are a couple things that jumped out at me...

Wall-E got screwed. I hate the Best Animated Film category, because it allows the voters to shunt a movie like Wall-E out of the Best Picture race, where it rightly belongs. Instead, it gets sent to the kiddie table, where it will obviously kick the crap out of Bolt and the enjoyable-but-outclassed Kung Fu Panda.

Obviously, I thought Dark Knight would do better. Best Picture was always a longshot, but Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay both seemed real possibilities. Naturally, it got neither.

Where's the Bruce Springsteen song from The Wrestler? How is that not even nominated for Best Original Song? And, wasn't the whole point of the Original Song rule change (after last year, when Enchanted was nominated three times in the same category) to prevent the majority of the nominees coming from a single film? Only three songs got nods, and two of them are from Slumdog Millionaire.

I'm not as surprised as others may be by the exclusion of Clint Eastwood in the Best Actor category. There were just a ton of good, solid contenders in that race...someone was gonna get left out.

Interestingly, the directors of the five Best Picture nominees were all nominated for Best Director. Usually, you get four of the five (eliminating one picture from serious consideration), and a "wild card" pick. This year, I thought sure that wild card would be Chris Nolan. Or maybe Darren Aranofsky. But apparently the Academy saw each of its Best Picture nominees as auteur statements, and couldn't unhook the respective directors.

More to come...

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

2009-01-15T12:28:00.000-08:00

Goodbye, Senor Montalban...

I'm Not Dead

2009-01-08T09:00:00.001-08:00

I've just been resting my eyes.